How years of doubt, ADHD, and life delays held me back, and why now, in my 40s, I’m finally getting it done anyway.

I’m 41, Let’s Start Living

Honestly, for most of my adult life, I’ve just put off doing the work that really lit a fire in my belly. Not because I didn’t care, or was short on ideas, but because self-doubt, fear, and life itself always seemed to get in the way.

But now, at 41, this is where I take everything I’ve learned and put it into practice. I’m making a conscious effort to work on this blog and finally start the projects I’ve always dreamed about starting.

The Voices In My Head

Every time I thought about starting, the same old thoughts kicked in:

“You’re not good enough. There’s people out there a million times better than you. People will just laugh. Who’s going to listen to a lad from Newcastle with a stammer? Who do you even think you are, mate?”

So I waited. I told myself: “Later. When I’ve got more time. When I feel ready. When things settle down…”

Life Just Cracks On, Doesn’t It?

While I was waiting to start, life just kept moving.

I’ve been doing web development as a hobby since I was 15 (late 90s). Later I did my Software Engineering degree in Newcastle to kick start my front-end career. Raised three amazing kids. Navigated relationships, divorce during Covid, work, multiple jobs, and trying to keep it all together while the brain tripped me up at every turn.

ADHD, forgetting stuff, panic, doubting myself. My head never stopped throwing out ideas and things I wanted to do, which just made it more annoying when I wasn’t really moving forward. All the stuff I wanted to get on with just ended up sat there, not going anywhere.

So, Why Now?

The ideas never went away. The ambition never left.

What kept me stuck was believing I wasn’t ready. But now? It feels like everything’s finally lined up. The skills, the experience, my headspace it’s all pointing forward.

I sort of see life like a download bar.   That first half? Learning, raising kids, working, surviving. This second half? Actually building the life I want, instead of just watching it happen.

What This Blog’s About (And What It Definitely Isn’t)

Forget the polished influencer nonsense.

This isn’t some hustle guide or highlight reel.   I’m not a Silicon Valley founder, a startup guru, or a 20-something living off dad’s money while travelling Asia.

I’m a working-class lad from Newcastle who built his way up between school runs, coaching grassroots football, juggling multiple jobs, and dealing with life like millions of us do.

So what is this blog?

My journey is about what I’ve learned and where I’m heading, including an honest chat about mental health, ADHD, fear, and figuring stuff out. I’ll also share insights into frontend development, accessibility, and usability, which is what I actually do. You’ll find stories from super-budget solo travel as a dad with a backpack, where I might stay in a hostel or even sleep on a street, because that’s what makes it interesting. Ultimately, this space is for building stuff that helps people, without pretending I’ve got it all figured out.

Let’s Build

Let’s build. I’m not waiting for everything to be perfect or lined up. I’m starting now, with what I’ve got. If even one person reads any of this and feels a bit less on their own with it all, then it’s already worth doing. This blog is my way of building and figuring out the next bit of my career, my business, and my life as I go.